1.Pinaka favorite mong tawag sayo?
- Gabrielle. 
) Ehhhh ewan, I like the people who call me by my second name. 
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THE BROKEN ROAD
which will lead me straight to you. :)
The Last Time
We had our good times, and we had our bad ones. For 280 days I saw past through our bad days because that single good moment that follows took every bad vibe away. But it got to a point wherein the good stuff isn’t enough to save the bad ones anymore. They were just better off as good memories.
We had our dreams. Oh, and they were all lovely. We had our plans, our future and our life together. We closed a chapter of our lives because we’d be moving on to a better place – college. We just had to work it through this summer. Sadly, we didn’t. I guess that’s not a bad thing too. God has His plans. That’s what we always say. And this, this is His plan for both of us.
I got angry at you. I hated you. But it’s all done now. I’ve gone through the five stages of grief.
Denial. Those were the days that I missed you. So freakin’ bad I couldn’t sleep. I tried not to believe that we’re drifting apart again. I tried my hardest not to “find things out”. I tried to trust you more. I tried to tell myself that it’s just me. I’m paranoid. I’m over-reacting. I’m NOT supposed to feel this way. I was denying the fact that everything’s just gonna repeat itself.
Anger. I got angry because you were so fucking inconsiderate and irresponsible. You forgot about me again. I wasn’t talking to you because I don’t want to talk to you when I’m angry. I’m just gonna regret that after some time. I hated you. I wanted to slap you, punch you and just freakin’ forget you.
Bargaining. I was weighing the “chances”. The pros and cons of our situation. I was trying my best to have you back. To have the old us back. I tried smiling through our conversations. Sending you freakin’ goodnight messages. I was doing my part.
Depression. When it took some time to notice that you haven’t done your part, I got reaaaaal sad. I didn’t go out of my house. Up until this stage, I couldn’t sleep at night. I couldn’t sleep at all. During the silence of the night, I’d usually cry and play sad songs and miss you, like crazy. I got scared that this’ll end soon again. I was sad. I was crying. I was pathetic.
Until finally, I got back up. When I realized that this will NEVER be what I want for myself and this will NEVER be what I deserve, I just accepted it. I had five parts for this stage. The first sub-stage was Distraction. I distracted myself from the situation. So I can figure out how I’d live when this is all over. It was easy, considering that it was summer and that we don’t have any means of communication. It was easy because I had so many friends. Before I knew it, I was slowly getting used to living a life without you. Next was Goodbyes. This was when I talked to you already. I wasn’t angry anymore so I had a better POV. Although I wasn’t totally in a forgiving state, I just told you I had enough of this. I told you why I chose to end it and I told you all my feelings. It was the last time anyway so what the heck. After the goodbyes, I went into Distraction again. So I could get my mind off things and just be… happy. The fourth sub-stage was reminiscing and forgetting. These two worked together for me. Perfect timing too, cos of the LSS weekend we had. It was time to turn over a new leaf. It was God’s promise of a new beginning. A clean slate. I remembered everything that happened before. While I was lying on that marble floor, our memories came flashing through our minds. From the very first time we talked to the very last time I saw your face. Everything. The good memories. The bad ones. The firsts. The butterflies, the fireworks, the magic. The pain, the heartaches and the sadness. I needed to remember them one last time because it’ll be the last time I’ll cry about them. I was crying uncontrollably as I laid down. I couldn’t help the tears. A lot of people were watching me, I knew that. But I never wanted to open my eyes. Because I was in a place that was very special to me, and it’ll be the last time I’ll go there. So I kept my eyes shut, and cried. After quite some time, I smiled. Because those were memories I’ll never have again. Well, not with you. I’ve also forgiven you. For everything you did. I accepted the fact that that’s who you are and I can’t change that. Hate won’t get me anywhere. It will not change you, it’ll only change me. So I’ve forgiven you and accepted the person that you are. But I reached my limits. It’s who you are and I accept that, but I don’t want to sacrifice a part of me anymore just so I could be with you. Enough. I smiled because I felt the amazing strength to let it all go. To let you go. Bury them deep down. Forget them. They’ll always be special memories, but it’s time to put my past behind me and start my new life. A CLEAN SLATE. Finally, I got into moving on. All the memories I’ve kept – silly notes, pictures, drawings, random things, star cut-outs, videos, recordings, call records, 2000+ messages, diaries… they’re now… memories. I’ve deleted them, store them some place I wouldn’t find and forgot about them. Now nothing holds me back. Now I can finally say… I’m moving on. And I never felt THIS peaceful in a very long time.
For the last time, thank you for those memories. No, I don’t regret anything. After all, if I did, I wouldn’t be this strong. I wouldn’t be better. Because I didn’t come out of this with a broken heart, I came out with a handful of experience. I came out with a stronger and more loving heart. And I’m pretty sure some guy would deserve it much better than you did. So thank you, because now I know my worth. Now I know what I deserve. And now I can say I truly learned.
You were my only exception.
HELLO, FOLKS!
Hello there guys! I’ve moved from my 3-year blog labing-apat.bs to here, my new blog. I just hate updating themes and pictures e-vuh-rytime. Plus, wordpress provides awesome pw-protected posts. They’ll be handy someday So anyway, new life, clean slate, new blog, new school. Everything’s a new beginning right now. I am loving my life
This.
HOOOOLY MOLLLLY. :’( I’m so excited already. I wanna watch this.
WALANG MAGAWA :|
01. You’re currently confused about someone’s feelings for you.
02. You have been in a serious relationship before.
03. You own an iPod of some sort.
04. You do not like your sibling’s girlfriend/boyfriend.
05. You drink too much alcohol.
06. You have been to the Olive Garden.
07. You have taken medicine of some sort this week.
08. It is really cold in your house right now.
09. You are extremely dependent on others.
10. You do not like to express your feelings in front of others.
11. You ate a lot of food today.
12. It doesn’t take much for you to cry.
13. People consider you a sappy sort of person.
14. Someone in your family is rich.
15. You have been to Disney World or Disneyland before.
16. You hate when people constantly talk about themselves.
17. You are a good listener, but you hate complainers.
18. Someone has called you for a serious medical emergency before.
19. You have had a serious surgery.
20. Your house has a spare bedroom.
21. Your house has 2+ bathrooms.
22. You have at least one cousin under the age of three.
23. You have never held a baby before.
24. You can’t handle toddlers.
25. You have a painting in your room.
26. You have been to Canada.
27. You have been to Mexico.
28. You love cherry flavored lollipops.
29. You celebrate Easter.
30. You observe Lent.
31. You are Catholic.
32. You do not believe in God.
33. Religion is not important to you.
34. You want to have a small family one day.
35. You would rather have more sons than daughters.
36. You have more aunts than uncles.
37. You are single and happy.
38. You currently are way more tan than everyone else.
39. You wear shoes in your house.
40. Your parents are clean freaks.
41. You are more messy than clean.
42. You are currently angry at someone.
43. Patience is so not a virtue to you.
44. Your desk is extremely clean.
45. Your bed sheets are either blue, green, black, or white.
46. When you hear “black & white” it reminds you of Katy Perry’s ‘Hot n Cold’ song.
47. You have no clue what that song is.
48. You think rap artists are completely pathetic.
49. You are glad George Bush is out of office.
50. Politics are boring to you.
51. You take a vitamin daily.
52. You feel like you are sick often.
53. You hate throwing up.
54. You think it’s gross when people set food down on their desk at school with no napkin.
55. You also find it gross that people sit on top of desks.
56. You are now cringing at the thought of someone’s food where someone’s ass was.
57. You love getting bubble baths.
58. You do not like chocolate at all.
59. You are allergic to nuts.
60. You have been stung by a bee before.
61. You have been to the emergency room before for something.
62. One of your parents is 50 or older.
63. You are the baby of your immediate family.
64. You hate broccoli.
65. Cooked carrots are good, though.
66. You probably go on MySpace/Friendster/Facebook too much to be healthy.
67. You are really comfortable right now.
68. You like witty t-shirts.
69. You are a major fan of underground bands.
70. You have been on an airplane before.
71. You are not afraid of heights.
72. You consider yourself paranoid.
73. You have had a panic attack before.
74. The thought of being old and alone bothers you.
75. You would choose the elderly over children.
76. You feel like you’re living in the wrong decade.
77. You have smoked weed before.
78. You think it’s way too cold outside right now.
79. You love the thought of sleeping in tomorrow morning.
80. You would rather go to bed early and get up early.
81. You feel like the early bird catches the worm.
82. You are a big breakfast eater.
83. You are currently suffering from the common cold.
84. You are craving something salty.
85. You have been in a car today.
86. There is something plugged in near you.
87. You have heard of the TV show “Private Practice.”
88. You do not like medical television shows.
89. You prefer horror to comedies.
90. You adore Leo & Kate.
91. You think high-waisted pants look good. [formal]
92. You hate cheesy movies.
93. You enjoy camping out.
94. Bugs don’t bother you.
95. You do well in school without trying.
96. You are extremely jealous of someone currently.
97. You feel like you have changed a lot from 08-09.
98. You thought this survey was too short.
99. You thought this survey was just right.
100. You thought this survey was too long.
Paano na Kya, HINDI SINASADYA!
AT ANG TRAILER! =))
TAYO NA LANG.
AKIN KA NA LANG.
*tear*
Today’s January 5.
….a month ago. THAT day was so effin SPECIAL. :’(
….a month ago. THAT day was so effin SPECIAL. :’(
Anyway, I just wanna say… I miss you! As always. And please, keep yer promise. No breaking me slowly remember? )
AKO AY TINATAMAAN :))
SPEECHLESS. =))
Errr, I miss you. I really miss moments like these. Miss ko na talaga yung dati. GRABE.
I miss.
There are tons of things to miss about you.
I miss it when you call me Panget. I know it’s so way back, but that’s how we started. That was when everything was sweet and simple and cheesy.
I miss it when you greet me “Goodmorning! I love you!” Now it’s just “Morning!”
I miss it when you call me everytime just to check on me.
I miss it when you view my Tumblr. I can tell, coz you dunno what’s going on inside my head now.
I miss it when I sit beside you. We’d just tickle each other endlessly.
I miss it when we crack the corniest jokes and we’d be completely happy, like those jokes just made our fucking day.
I miss it when you’d say “bye” to me.
I miss it when you’d borrow my star-making puncher and you’d create a lot of stars for me and you’d put it inside my pencil case.
I miss it when you’d play kid games with me. I miss it when we can laugh about the simplest of things.
I miss it when you text me when you’re absent. I miss going inside the restroom and checking my phone with messages from you.
I miss it when you look at me and you see me trying to avoid you. I miss THAT look on your face; when you look at me and I feel like you’re scared I’m gonna leave. You know I won’t. You know I can’t.
I miss it when you invite people to hang out. You know why.
I miss it when you created an account sa GG. :”)
I miss it when try to read my diary and you never succeeded. Those were the days hahaha.
I miss it when you make excuses just so that we could talk or something.
I miss it when I hold your hand during…
I miss it when you try to hide the kissy smiley. I miss it when you pretend like you don’t have it in your phone but you just really want to send it.
I miss it when you made my day on my birthday. 
I miss it when you call me, endlessly, just so you could talk to me about anything.
I miss it when you’re pissed off and when I ask when you’re okay you’d say “Yup, narinig ko na boses mo e”.
I miss it when you shoot hoops for me.
I miss the way I feel whenever you’re not around or whenever you’re absent. I know it’s emoshitty and dark but I miss it. Coz I know missing you back then was worth it because I know you miss me too.
I miss it when everybody tells me they know the reason why I’m sad. I miss it coz they always mention your name.
I miss it when the my reason for letting go before was because it’s hard. Now the reason is you because I can’t feel your love anymore.
I miss it when we ask each other things and we’d beat around the bush when we ask each other things like our Top 1 etc..
I miss it when you ask me if I’m okay.
I miss the first time we talked past midnight. That was the day you told me I am your…
I miss it when I sit on your empty seat and I get mad at anyone who sits on it hahaha.
I miss it when you trust me with your past.
I miss it when you text me with teary-eyed smileys and sad faces and then you go tell me “Text ka naman, I need you :”( ( “
I miss listening to my first batch of TSwift songs.
I miss it when you ask me not to sleep yet cause we haven’t talked yet.
I miss it when you call, even for just a minute, before I go to sleep and you say “Tutulog ka na? Mmm, sgesge, goodnight! ” with all your concerned voice and all. :”)
I miss it when you buy me pasalubong.
I miss it when you sing with me on the phone. No insecurities whatsoever.
I miss it when you watch me dance.
I miss it when you were there for me when I lost my iPod.
I miss it when you ask me “what will you do if..” questions.
I miss your answer when I asked you. You tried to hide it pa, rinig na rinig naman.
I miss it when you whispered in my ear that you… :”)
I miss it when we fight and we talk through post its.
I miss it when you’re irritated when I tell you I’m your long lost sister.
I miss it when I first drank pure vodka and you took the glass away from me
I miss it when you tell me “Ok lang yan love mo naman ako e”
I miss it when you ask me about my stats even though you know it’s for you.
I miss it when you ask me “What am I to you?” I miss it cause before, I couldn’t answer it. Things always hold me back. Now, I just want to tell you that you’re the one I love. You’re everything. Every reason. Lahat na ng cheesy stuff. Pero totoo. And I know you already know that. I just wish I told you those things before.
I miss it when I couldn’t sleep coz I know you’re BV and all and I worry you’ll hurt yourself again.
I miss it when you’d call sa landline. I miss your voice. Iba talaga sa landline e.
I miss it when I had a bad day and then you’d call and take all the BV away.
I miss that one time you told me it was me. First, as of that moment.
I miss it when I post “letting go” stuff and you’d ask me about it.
I miss it when you told me you don’t want me to let you go. (
I miss the 1923 series. You’re Matt ya know. Or I’m Matt. Fuuudge. )
I miss our YM conversations.
I miss our confe.
I miss it when we’d agree to bring food and we’d pig out all day.
I miss that one time you called me and I told you I got pilay and the next day you brought bandages and bengay. :”) and you drew on them )
I miss it when you posted the lyrics of FEARLESS.
I miss October 23, 2009!!
I miss it when you ask me to smile your favorite smile.
I miss October 26, 2009!! ( ( (
Those were the days. The simple days. Got them from my first diary.
Yesterday, I kinda missed him a lot. When I answered the phone, I kinda missed the time I answered it before and hoped it was him… and it was him. I miss the way I felt that time.
I miss these simple things. I miss the way things fucking were. I miss these memories. I miss these moments.
Things are so complicated for the past weeks. This Christmas Break, I developed this “drive” to let you go. I finally had that stregth to do it.. to move on. To finally be happy. But I lost it exactly on the last day of the year. The feeling I felt that day just fucking tore me again. The feeling I felt on the 5th of November. That was the same feeling. I thought nothing could ever surprise me na, but I was wrong. I guess you could still manage to break a broken heart. You could still rip it to smaller bits no matter how small the pieces were already. On New Year’s Eve, I tried to be strong. The BV feeling went away and on the first day of 2010, before I went to sleep, I found that drive again. Coz of something. I figured I still have my amazing friends no matter how this’d end up. I figured I also want to remain a friend if ever things won’t go smoothly. Because of that incident that night, I found that stregth again. And I hope this stregth won’t leave me this time so that if ever the thing I’m hoping for will not happen, at least I’m strong enough not to break.
A Sucky Year-Ender :))
2009
WILDEST YEAR EVER )
First time for everything huh?
This year, I did live my life crazily… pushed it to the limits and just fuckin felt every bit of it.
There were so many ups and downs. Soooo many intrigues, sooooo many issues )
I fell in love twice this year. One was a comeback of some sort… and I fell out of love :’( The other was a rock-solid-ohmyfreakingosh-im-falling-so-hard kind. )
WHAT I WON’T EVER FORGET THIS YEAR:
- Maharlika won, champions kami sa cheering
- Naging super bonded ng Squad :-*
- Bianx was happy nung February ♥
- SDS :”>
- Shopping like a real family @ Town nung bday ni Maine.
- Maine’s Bday Bash @ Gar’s house WIIIILD night )
- AG with Dani, Pat, Iman, Ryan and Gil (TAFT CHRONICLES HAHAHAHAHAHA)
- Old love nung April. :”>
- Jel’s PARTEEEEY! First ever. =)) Wild TK, wild )
- Swimming!! with Tk of course
- Found out na wala nang Star Sec
- ADJUSTMENTS
- New friends
- Hey Magui!
- Hey Bub!
- Hey Kenneth!
- Hey Maca!
- IT STARTS HERE :”> ♥♥♥
- Crazyyyy months.
- Heartbreak. Fucking heartbreak. It broke me big time. Never cried like that for a boy, EVER. It was fucking ripping me apart.
- `trying to move on
- Accepting
- Accepted
- Happy, somehow
- STARTS HERE AGAIN
- Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala ♥
- VIBES
- HAPPY, totally! WIIIIILDNESS )
- VIBES
- Happy Contented.
OKAY WALA NANG SENSE YUNG LAST PARTS. ) Inaantok na ako e. Bukas na nga lang yung mga messages ) Boohoo )
Basta this year? 4 WORDS. AWESOME PARTIES ) AWESOME FRIENDS )
Survey :)
1. Pinaka bwiset na nangyari kahapon?
- BV si brother, paskong pasko!
2. Masasaktan ka ba pag nakita mo crush mo may GF/BF na bigla?
- Oo… lalo na pag hindi nya sinabi at kailangan ko pa talagang makita T__________T
3. Alaala na gusto mo i-DELETE sa isipan mo for good.
- Yung araw na nakita ko silang nag-usap for the first freakin’ time
4. Describe mo nga ang mga weaknesses mo sa isang tao?
- Kapag sila ay nag-care out of nowhere!
5. sa Tingin mo, ilan may gusto sayo ngayon?
- LOL
6. Are camera phones worth it?
- Oo siguro hehe
7. Kanino ka huli nagselos?
- Kanino pa ba. =)) LOLJK
8. Kung magkaka clone ka, ano papagawa mo sa kanya?
- Chores. Studies. :>
9. Halata ka ba pag inlove ka?
- Oo. HAHAHAHAHA
10. Nasayo na ba ang puso mo, o ndi pa din nababalik sayo?
- HINDI PA NABABALIK! Pero malapit na ata.
11. Ano naman ginagawa nyo together?
- WHUT?! =))
12. Kung kakantahan mo crush mo ngayon, ano kakantahin mong song sa kanya?
- White Horse. Seryoso me.
13. Sino2 na mga naka tulog sa kama mo? (ndi pwde relatives)
- Wala =))
14. Kunin mo wallet mo, ano2 mga laman nito?
- Mooooooney. Pictuuuuures. Memories
15. Bibigyan kita ng Happy Pill, kanino mo bibigay toh?
- Kay…. hmmmm….. wala akong maisip.
16. Ano payo mo sa kaibigan mo na ndi maka get over sa x nya?
- He’s not worth your tears anymore. Have fuuuuuun girl! Tara! xD
17. Ang hirap talaga maging?
- isang kaibigan ) loljk.
18. Biglaan kita yayain papunta tagaytay, ngayon na mismo, sasama ka?
- OO!!!! WOOOHOOOOO!
19. Rate mo lifestyle mo 1-10. 10 being the highest and 1 is the lowest
- 9.9! Syempre sya yung .1 na yun ) Opcors, happy pero alam nating lahat na hindi ako kumpleto. Pero wth!
20. Anong pinaka ayaw mong insekto?
- Ipis. Eeeeew
21. Pili ka, ikaw pinaka panget sa mundo ng mga gwapo/maganda o ikaw pinaka gwapo/maganda sa mundo ng mga panget?
- Dooooi, 2nd! )
22. Magulo ba kwarto mo?
- OO. O_o
23. Bakit merong tao na lahat nagawa mo na para sa kanila, pero ndi ka pa din nila kaya mahalin?
- Ganun talaga ang buhay, bulag sila e ) loljk
24. Dead end na ba?
- siguro =))
25. Bakit naman?
- ako’y napapagod na! )
26. What is your purpose in this world?
- save lives :>
27. Ano mas mahirap, walang pera o walang nagmamahal sayo?
- WALANG PERA!
28. Magpost ka nga ng # ng friend mo dito.
-
29. Kung magiging damit ka ng crush mo, anong damit nya gusto mo maging?
- Yung green niya na tshirt. God knows why )
30. How do you measure FRIENDSHIP?
- di namemeasure :>
31. Dapat mo magawa sa buhay mo bago ka mamatay?
- makita ang Aurora Borealis :>
32. Public or Private profile?
- private.
33. Meron ka bang “The One that got away”? sino sya?
- Meron, at paki mo ba kung sino sya? )
34. What do you value most, PAST PRESENT or FUTURE?
- PPPPPRRREEESSSEEEENT. Pero mahal ko din ang past.
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